On Deadly Ground

Once upon a time there was a ridiculous pony-tailed man named Steven Seagal. He made his name as a martial arts expert and stunt co-ordinator in 1980s Hollywood before getting a crack at being an onscreen action hero in the 1988 film Above the Law. After this he had a couple of moderate successes before becoming a superstar with the film Under Seige. Its popularity went to his head, and the over-achieving Seagal exploited the opportunities afforded to him by this success to seek auteur status by producing, directing and starring in a film called On Deadly Ground. In much the same way that this film depicts corporate greed as a force that exploits our world's natural resources, Steven Seagal's greed for artistic recognition became a force that would rape cinema itself. On Deadly Ground is Seagal's magnum opus, and boy does it suck.

The film opens on a magnificent bald eagle and the pro-nature message couldn't be made any clearer. This is the 1990s in all its politically-correct glory, the worst of the era exemplified in a single film = environmental issues, electric blue credit titles, Steven Seagal, evil corporations, computers being used to solve plot holes with lightning speed. It's all there. Add to this Seagal's egotistical need to portray himself as some sort of messiah for the Native American peoples and his complete lack of a sense of humour and you have one of the most mindnumbing big budget action films ever made. In the past I always felt a little sorry for Steven Seagal when people mocked him... but then I saw this movie.

The plot has Seagal as an oil fire expert who cottons on to his industrial employer (represented by Michael Caine) cutting corners at the expense of the Alaskan wilderness and its natives. You haven't suffered until you've witnessed the sheer idiocy of Seagal's introduction scene, the dramatic upwards pan that reveals him recklessly lighting a cigarette at the site of a massive fire as he quips, "Hey Hugh, what's cooking?" It's so bad you can't even parody it. Oh, and Seagal's character's name is 'Forrest', because he's gonna save the forest, geddit? And if Seagal's acting isn't bad enough for you, this film will also introduce you to his ineptitude as a director.

Filmmaking doesn't get much more obvious and contrived than On Deadly Ground. Seagal mournfully emotes "What does it take to change the essence of a man?" with minimal expression whilst engaging a plot-irrelevant tough guy in a hand-slapping contest that reduces said tough guy to tears (look it up on youtube if you must!) That's just one small scene. Every major action beat in On Deadly Ground is filmed in jerky slow motion, there's no freakin' martial arts to be seen because Seagal seems to think everyone is more interested in his 'acting', and a soul-destroying half hour in the middle of the film is devoted to his character hanging out with eskimos and embarking on a spirit quest to become one with the bear.

Not even Michael Caine can save this film. Caine has weird plastered-down black hair (so we can tell that he's the villain) and a somewhat dodgy American accent. He does his best to liven things up as the entertainingly evil corporate scumbag with no conscience, but no matter how good his performance could be it would never cancel out the rubbishness of this entire film. The same goes for the rest of the unusually distinguished cast (John C. McGinley, Joan Chen, R. Lee Ermey). Finally, this review would not be complete without mentioning the infamous closing monologue. All the idiotic things that I previously mentioned in this review are nothing in comparison to the neverending lecture that Seagal gives at the end of the film, he talks about things like dying plankton and electric cars whilst his audience of Native Americans (wearing traditional dress) all nod their heads in agreeance, and we get a montage of stock footage that shows polluted cities and industrial practices all over the world. It's hard to imagine a worse way to end a film, and it's hard to imagine that Seagal made any fans by doing it, and it feels like it goes for a longer amount of time than all the other scenes in the film combined.

DIRECTOR: Steven Seagal
WRITER/SOURCE: Ed Horowitz and Robert U. Russin
KEY ACTORS: Steven Seagal, Michael Caine, John C. McGinley, Joan Chen, R. Lee Ermey, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Mike Starr, Billy Bob Thornton, Richard Hamilton

RELATED TEXTS:
- The blatant environmental themes and general earnestness reminds me a lot of the animated 1990s television series Captain Planet.
- One sequence of the film where Seagal outsmarts some mercenaries in the forest is a lot like First Blood.
- Other films about corporate greed and pollution: A Civil Action, Erin Brockavich, The Constant Gardener and Silkwood.